Disciplining children

How can you apply discipline to your child so that he can behave both at home and in public places? Every parent wants their children happy, honored and respected by others, and be able to find their place in this world as adults who behave well. No one wants to be accused of raising a spoiled brat.

But sometimes these goals seem distant from your child's current behavior. Consider the constraints of good behavior, effective discipline techniques and when to seek help for a pattern of dangerous behavior.

What is discipline?

Discipline is the process of teaching your child what kind of behavior is acceptable and what is not kind. In other words, discipline, teach your children to follow the rules. Discipline may include penalties, such as time outs, and more importantly, awards or prizes. It sounds very easy but every parent can be frustrating at some time or other times with issues surrounding children and discipline.

Constraints behave well

The parents face several obstacles when trying to teach good behavior to their children. How many of them experienced this:

- Children who are not polite and do not listen: "I must tell you a hundred times."

- Children who hear, but intentionally or unintentionally does not comply with your request to behave well

Recognizing the challenges in defining the discipline

Your responsibility as parents is to help your children become independent, respectable and can control themselves. Relatives, schools, churches, therapists, doctors and other experts can help. But the main responsibility for discipline lies in the parents.

How do you run this challenge? Look at your current parenting and how you use the discipline. The American Mental Health Association describes three types of parenting:

- Parents who are authoritative to have expectations and consequences clear and full of affection towards his children. Parents who are authoritative allow flexibility and collaboration in solving problems with their children when dealing with behavioral challenges. This is the most effective form of parenting.

- Parents who are authoritarian have clear expectations and consequences, but show little affection to their children. Parents like these can say things like, "because I was your mother, that's why." This is a less effective form of parenting.

- Parents who are permissive show much affection towards her children but provide little discipline. This is a less effective form of parenting.

Choosing engineering discipline

Discipline techniques you choose can depend on the type of inappropriate behavior shown your child, your child's age, temperament and your parenting. Here is a technique recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics, American Association of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry and National Mental Health Association:

Giving awards for good behavior

Recognizing good behavior is the best way to encourage your child to continue to behave well. In other words, "Understand him to behave well." Praise your child when he shows the behavior you expect.

Natural Consequences

Your child did something wrong, and you let him accept the consequences of such attitude. There is no need for you to "lecturing her." Your child can not blame you for what happened. For example, if a child accidentally break a toy, he can no longer play with these toys.

Natural consequences can work well when a child did not "hear" your warning about the possible consequences of their behavior. Even so, make sure that every natural consequence that they are not dangerous.

Logical consequence

This technique is similar to a natural consequence but involves an explanation to your child about the consequences of what would happen to an unacceptable behavior. These consequences are directly related to behavior. For example, you tell your child that if he does not keep his toys, the toys will be taken during the week.

Revoking privileges

Sometimes, there is no natural or logical consequence for a bad attitude - or you do not have time to think about it. In this case, the consequences for unacceptable behavior can revoke the privileges of children. For example, if your child does not complete school tasks on time, you can choose to revoke the privilege of watching television at night. This discipline technique works best if these privileges:

- Related to the behavior

- Something that is cherished child

- Revoked as soon as possible after the act was inappropriate (especially for small children).

Time out

Time outs are successful if you know exactly what your child is wrong or if you need a break from your child's behavior. Make sure you have a time out place that has been determined. The place must be quiet and boring - maybe not in the bedroom (where children can play) or dangerous places such as bathrooms. This discipline technique can succeed on the children if the children are old enough to understand the purpose of time out - usually about 2 years and more, with about 1 minute time outs for every age. Time outs are usually most successful in children less separated from parents who look to be placed in the time outs really look like a loss. 

What about corporal punishment and hitting?

Corporal punishment (physical), such as hitting, not recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics or mental health associations. Why? First, because the non-physical discipline techniques work better with a little negative consequences. According to AAP, hitting can cause problems below:

- Spanking may make kids more aggressive

- Hitting can become harder and endangering children

- Hitting can cause children to think that it's okay physically hurt someone you care about

Tips to maintain discipline

Any discipline technique you select for your use, these techniques will be more effective if you still remember these ideas:

Controlling your discipline techniques to match the temperament of your child.

The key to effective discipline is to understand who your child, especially the style of temperament, and use your discipline to help him reach the potential talent and trends. But you do not aim to convert it to someone who is not himself (for example, changing a child who is busy and noisy to be someone who is soft).

Talking about your discipline plan

Discipline techniques should not be done abruptly, especially if you're wanted to try something new. For children who are old enough to understand, as long as in a discussion (not in a state of heat or emotion) explain the technique, why do you want to use it and what you hope will be achieved. Children greater to be included in selecting the award and what the appropriate consequences.

Respect your child

If you show respect for your child - even when you're make discipline- your child will be more likely to respect you, other family members and others in his life. If you are "out of control" or overreact with inappropriate, sorry. Behavior as you want your child to behave.

Consistent

Each technique will fail if you do not follow or implement consequences consistently. If you say, for example, that these toys would be banned for a week, then take these toys if bad behavior continues.

Do not break the rules of discipline to give up if your child behaves badly in public, like a child that a tantrum while shopping. If you give in to demands of children, this behavior will continue.

Try to keep your goals and techniques remain consistent from time to time. If more than one adult is responsible for the discipline of children, make sure you all agree with the approach you will use.

When finished, it finished.

Once the consequences have been passed or have been run, do not apologize or continue the lectures on behavior. Help your child back to the appropriate activity.

Understanding what is in accordance with the development of your child

before disciplining a child; make sure children do understand what you ask him to do. Sometimes parents ask for behavior beyond the child's ability to be fulfilled. As with other skills in life, behaviors often have to "grow up".

See "why" behind behavior

If you notice the existence of a pattern of inappropriate behavior, part of the solution is to see "why" is. For example, your child may be disturbed about something, like a friend who moved. Perhaps your child has a bad day at school. Maybe your child feel pressured by family problems. Maybe he is tired or hungry. The explanations are not a reason to behave badly, but trying to understand why he behaves badly to help you and your child try to find a way to prevent this behavior occurs again and again.

Give yourself a change.

Even if you have a technical discipline and parenting styles are best, there are some days where everything seems to not work. Or maybe you also have a bad day. Develop positive discipline skills to take a lot of practice and a lot of time. If you feel you have made a mistake, be honest. Apologize to your child and explain how you plan to change your response in the future.

Know when and where to seek help

There are some occasions when you do not know what to do to help your child learn to behave decent. You may have tried all these techniques but did not help. Or you might not know how to change from what you're doing now to something that might be more effective. Every time you have questions about your child's behavior and discipline, discuss with your pediatrician.

Also, if you see one of these concerns, ask for help from mental health experts:

- Continually being rude to everyone: parents, teachers and other adults.

- Behave aggressive and destructive

- The signs of depression, such as feeling sad for a long time, do not have friends or threatening suicide.

- If your child or other family members using drugs or alcohol to deal with stress or other problems in their lives.

- Some of the relationships within the family difficult.